Stay
by FroggyDarren
Summary: It rains outside the window as he watches the girl walk down the street, away from the house, away from him. She's not coming back and he's left wondering how it all went wrong.
1. Edward

**Pick A Pic Challenge  
Title: Stay  
Penname: Jessie Chase  
Banner: #69  
Rating/ Disclaimer: M (lemony)  
Summary: It rains outside the window as he watches the girl walk down the street, away from the house, away from him. She's not coming back and he's left wondering how it all went wrong.  
To see all the stories that are a part of this contest please visit: www .fanfiction-challenges. blogspot. com**

5pm Saturday  
My eyes followed the umbrella down the street and I tried to make out the shape underneath it. As it turned around the corner and the last flash of chocolate brown hair left my sight, I collapsed into a ball under my window and gasped for air. She was gone.

-=-=-=-

4.45pm Saturday  
"Bella," my voice was breaking as I whispered her name into the silence of the room. She'd made up her mind, I knew it from the look on her face. It felt like she wasn't even in here with me anymore, like she'd checked herself out of the conversation a while ago. No matter what I said now, it wasn't going to make a difference.

I kept my eyes on her, nearly desperate for an opening in the wall she built around her in seconds, but I couldn't find even the tiniest crack. Her defences were up and from the looks of it, I was the last one who'd be allowed through them.

-=-=-=-

3.50pm Saturday  
I watched her pack her bag with more effectiveness than I've ever seen in anyone. She walked slowly, determinedly around the apartment, set on not leaving a trace of herself behind. Every last piece of clothing, trinkets, anything in any way connected to her found its way into her duffel as she tried to erase herself from my life. But how could she? I followed her with my eyes, memorising every move and all her features. She couldn't erase my memory, this wasn't Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, as much as she probably wished it was.

I wondered briefly if she'd be able to erase the memory of my words... I knew I wouldn't forget hers.

-=-=-=-

3.15pm Saturday  
"Bella, please!" the pleading on my voice was unmistakable.

I wasn't above begging at this point, I would have done anything to stop her pacing, to change the expression in her face. To make her smile and laugh, to get back what we had in the months before this day. I'd even settle for the vague camaraderie we had in the years when she was my sister Rosalie's best friend. At least then she acknowledged my existence and didn't act like if there was a shortcut straight through me, she'd take it.

Then she stopped and her eyes met mine, full of something I couldn't decipher.

"No, Edward."

The two words cut through me like nothing else ever had before.

-=-=-=-

3pm Saturday  
"This wasn't supposed to happen, Edward!" her voice reflected disappointment, "why did you ruin everything?"

I stared at her, unable to figure out how my words might have caused her to react this way, as clueless a man as I could be.

"You don't even realize what you've done, do you?"

Her eyes drilled through me, her anger and pain equally reflected in them, making me cringe.

-=-=-=-

2.45pm Saturday  
"Don't. Just don't touch me now!" she whispered in a broken tone as she shoved my hand from her shoulder.

She paced around the room again, her eyes darting between the floor and her hands, not once raising her face to look at me. I was at a loss, words failed me a while ago and were what got us here, so I kept my mouth shut. But now, it seemed, even my actions just kept making the situation worse.

"Bella, I'm..."

"Don't say you're sorry, Edward," she spat, "I know you're not."

I wasn't. There was no way I could argue with her. I meant everything I've said to her, every word, even those that I never thought I'd say to anyone.

"But..."

"Just... don't say anything," there was a finality in those words and she walked over to the closet and pulled out a duffel bag that's been there since her first visit.

-=-=-=-

2pm Saturday  
We've been doing this strange dance for nearly two hours now. When I walked into a room, Bella immediately shot out into the kitchen. The moment I even approached the kitchen door, she was on her way out to the bathroom. Finally, I managed to be in the sitting room as she walked in, in search of her jacket.

"Bella, stop for a moment, please," I said quietly, willing her to meet my eyes.

She didn't.

"What, Edward?"

The fury in her voice shook me and I tried to understand why she was so angry.

"Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"Why are you angry?"

She took a few paces around the room and then froze in a spot, her back turned to me.

"Why now, Edward? Why not a year ago, before all this started?"

I didn't have an answer for her, not one she would want to hear, nor one I would be able to say without hating myself.

"Why not when I moved into the city, or when Rosalie introduced us, or, hell, even when we were standing next to her and Emmett at the wedding? Why not then? Why now?"

With that, she turned to me and I cringed at the sight of the tears in her eyes.

-=-=-=-

11.50am Saturday  
My eyes followed her as she ran out of the room, collecting her clothes on the way, cursing under her breath. When she opened the bathroom door, a gust of cold air hit my toes and I pulled my knees close to stay covered.

The words I'd just said were still echoing in my head and the journal was lying on the pillow next to me. A few minutes later, Bella walked out of the bathroom, fully dressed and nearly ran out into the hallway.

I sat there, the only sound in the room my breathing and I tried to figure out what just happened.

-=-=-=-

11.30am Saturday  
I was torn out of my dreams about Bella by her voice calling my name and telling me to wake up.

"What is this, Edward?"

My eyes refocused on her hand and the leather journal she was holding in her hand and my heart started running a mile an hour. The pages were filled with everything I thought and felt over the past few years. I wondered for a second if she'd read all of it, but one look into her eyes gave me my answer.

"Edward?"

She glared at me and I cringed a little, not sure what she wanted me to say.

"My journal," I finally whispered.

"Why..."

Her voice drifted off and I felt her pain in the one word.

"I should've told you sooner, I know, I'm..."

"Don't. Don't say you're sorry Edward!"

"Bella, please," I still didn't get up from the bed, just watched her pace around the other side of the room, "I didn't know what to say."

Instead of saying anything, she simply threw the journal on the bed.

"It's not so simple. It was easy to write it down, but I couldn't say it. I couldn't risk losing you."

"Losing what, Edward? Losing the sex? Losing the booty calls? The easy fuck you have access to?"

"Bella, you know that's not what you are."

"Do I?" she was furious, "you never told me any of that," her hand gestured to my journal, "how do I know what else you lied about? And don't," she stopped me as I opened my mouth, "don't tell me it wasn't lying."

I couldn't look at her anymore and once again found myself speechless. There was a moment of silence in the room and then I heard her walk towards the bed.

"I can't do this, Edward."

-=-=-=-

6am Saturday  
The dream I was having was like hundreds before, nearly identical to the one I had pretty much every night. Bella's lips were on mine and I felt the soft touch of her fingers on my skin. I hummed contentedly and reached my arm out to stretch when it touched something soft and warm. My eyes flew open to find Bella leaning above me, tiny smirk on her face.

"Good morning," she followed the greeting with a kiss.

"Hmmm," I pulled her closer and wrapped my arms around her.

Our tongues met as I ran mine across her chapped lip, the soft and gentle kiss growing more passionate in seconds. My fingers dug into her skin and I tried to pull away and turn so she wouldn't feel how much her presence in my bed (and my head) in the morning affected me. The fight was lost the moment I felt her fingers inch towards my thighs.

"What do we have here?" her eyebrow quirked up, "What were you dreaming of, Edward?"

"Um," I tried to form a coherent thought as her nails softly raked over the inside of my thigh, "you?"

"Are you not sure?" she giggled, "Maybe I should make sure I'm all you dream about. Give you some material for fantasies."

There was no need for that, but I wasn't ready to tell her how many of my thoughts were dedicated solely to her. Telling her something would mean telling her everything and it would destroy what we had. Not only the benefits part of our agreement, but also, if she knew how I felt about her, she would run away faster than I could say... I couldn't even think it, just in case my self-control would be low enough and I'd blurt it out loud.

Bella's fingers made one more stroke over my thigh but this time continued higher and I shivered as she reached the tiny patch of skin on my hip that drove me crazy. She was entirely too aware of how sensitive that part was and ran circles over it, making me want to just grab her hand and put it where I really wanted and needed it.

"Cold?" she giggled as I shivered yet again.

"No," my voice shook when her fingers swept from one hip to another, _not_ touching me in the process by some miracle.

I moved my lips away from hers and kissed a trail over to the little spot just below her ear, running my tongue over it when I reached it. The hand she had on my hip jerked a little and I chuckled, then gave her another lick, waiting for her reaction. When I did it one more time, her retaliation to my bit of teasing was to pull her hand away and instead of lower down, she placed it on my chest. Then she laughed as a frustrated sigh escaped my lips.

"Not what you wanted?"

"No, not really," I frowned at her.

"What did you want then?" she challenged.

Instead of answering, I flipped her over, glad that we never bothered re-dressing before we fell asleep and I ran my tongue over her neck. Her back arched towards me and I smirked, knowing quite well by now what got a mild reaction and what made her want to jump out of her skin. We knew each other's sensitive spots almost better than each of us knew their own. So when I traced my lips towards her breast, I wasn't surprised by her chest rising up and had my hand ready to meet her breast while my tongue found the other. A moan escaped Bella's lips and I smiled against her nipple, drawing it into my mouth and sucking at it, feeling it harden along with the one my fingers circled around.

"Edward," she whispered, "please don't tease."

"Teasing? Me?" I glanced at her and slid my hand lower down, flicking over her nipple with my tongue, "I'm not teasing."

The sound that came out of her mouth sounded almost like a growl when my hand swept over her side and stopped at the very same spot on her hip as her hand was on earlier. My thumb ran a circle around it twice and I noticed her hand grabbing the sheets. Then she really did growl and reached for my hand, moving it between her thighs. I ran one finger down through the light smattering of hair and her hips jerked up, causing my finger to dip into the pool of wetness. It was my turn to almost growl as I felt just how turned on she was and my hips moved automatically towards her.

"Bella," I breathed her name out and pushed my fingers lower.

Her legs opened a little and my index finger dipped into her, followed by a second one immediately. All the while I was watching her reactions, reveling in the expression of her face, the blush on her cheeks and her eyes closed. She was obviously lost in the sensations and I wasn't about to deny her anything at this point. Or, if I was honest with myself, ever.

My fingers moved in and out of her slowly and when I felt her breathing quicken, I moved my thumb up to her clit and rubbed it. One of her hands tangled in my hair and tugged at it a little at each of my strokes, the other had a death grip on the sheets. I kept watching her face, her lips opened a little, but then I lowered my head down to her neck and ran my tongue over the spot below her ear again.

Her breathing turned uneven and the only sound besides it were a few quiet moans. I realized that she was close and withdrew my fingers, earning myself a look in her eyes that was nearly furious. Only a second later, I was suddenly on my back, with Bella's legs around my hips, her hair falling down into her face.

"Do not," she said slightly angrily, "tease me, Edward."

Her hand reached down between us and she didn't waste her time with stroking or teasing, simply took advantage of how hard I was. Without a warning, I was suddenly inside her, and groaned at the warmth around me. Bella grinned and I felt her muscles clench around me before she let her herself arch backwards. Her hands were on my thighs as she supported her weight, her head fallen back and her lips parted.

"Fuck!"

My eyes widened at the unfamiliar word out of her mouth, and my hands moved from her thighs to her chest. She started moving, lifting herself up and down in a nearly steady rhythm. Instead of trying to guide her, I moved one hand to the temptation that were hear nipples and the other down to her clit.

It only took a few strokes of my thumb and I felt her spasm around me, a moan echoing through the room as she ground down hard on my hips.

"Wow," she breathed out, still slightly out of breath, then she looked at me, "but you..."

"I'm not quite finished yet, Bella," I smirked as I grabbed her hips and turned her over, leaving a trail of kisses down her body.

-=-=-=-

11pm Friday  
"Hey, wanna get out of here?"

Bella was swaying to the music, watching Rosalie and Emmett on the dance floor. They were just back from their honeymoon and this was the first night we all went out together. We'd all been drinking a lot, celebrating with them all over again and adding the celebration of Ali and Jasper's upcoming wedding. But when I focused my eyes on Bella, I felt stone cold sober.

She was everything to me, my perfect match. I knew this the first time we talked, knew it when Rosalie and Emmett asked us to be a part of the wedding party, knew this when I stupidly agreed to the friends with benefits agreement. The only problem was, I was too afraid to tell her.

"Yeah, sure," she smiled, "your place, as usual?"

I nodded and went to grab her coat, leaving her to tell the others we were leaving. They didn't know, but never questioned us, thinking we were really close friends, not realizing just how close.

Bella slid into her coat as I held it out to her, smiling and hugging me before we headed out the door. I breathed in her usual fruity shampoo and sighed contentedly.

"I love you," I whispered, thinking she wouldn't hear me over the music.

"You're so drunk, Edward!" she laughed and pulled on my hand, "let's get walking."

Arms around each other and her umbrella shielding us from the rain, we headed down the street.


	2. Bella

**AN: A bonus BellaPOV that was originally sent out as a review reply ;) Enjoy.**

Disclaimer: No, still not mine. All recognisable characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

5pm Saturday

Despite the umbrella, my face was covered in raindrops the moment I stepped outside. I thought of walking through the rain without the unhelpful shield, wondering if it would prevent anyone from seeing the tears running down my cheeks. However, there was only one person I wouldn't want to notice them and he couldn't see me anyway, so I kept the umbrella up. It provided me with a barrier between his window and me. I could feel him looking at me, like I always could, but I willed myself not to look back.

Did he think I'd just take his words and do a happy dance? Or that I'd swoon over the romance of it all?

After reading his journal, I was torn between wanting to turn back time and wanting to punch him. Of course, he wasn't the only one who was at fault, but it was so easy to be angry at him first. Angry for keeping all his feelings from me, for acting as if he didn't care all that much throughout the time we knew each other. It could've saved me so much pain, so much effort that I've put into handling our... situation.

Oh yeah, the arrangement we had.

Of course, we worked together well on so many levels, great as friends, fantastic in the physical department. There was never any issue with either of those, at least not since we did explore the physical part of our relationship... or whatever it was we were in.

Rosalie was the one who'd introduced us, without any sneaky match-making intentions, I was sure, because she simply wasn't the person who would do something like that. And despite my initial dislike of Edward, as he didn't seem to want to even try to know me, I grew rather attached to him. We clicked so much that I would laugh and accuse him of being a copycat, since so many of our likes and dislikes turned out to be the same.

Then, of course, despite promising myself I wouldn't so that nothing could ruin our friendship, I stupidly fell for him. Not just a little crush, I was full-on, head-over-heels in love with him. Everyone knew, except Edward and that was the first time Rosalie said anything to me about Edward's and my friendship. Her words? He didn't do relationships.

So I spent months steeling myself against any feelings for him, suppressed all jealousy I felt when he came to group outings with other girls, stood with him by Rose and Emmett's side when they got married without as much as blinking.

Their engagement was when the benefits part started, with a joke about how the Maid of Honor and the Best man usually hooked up at weddings so we should practice. I'd lie of I said it took me a long time to agree to it, when in reality it took me all of a minute. At the time, I figured it was a one-time thing, but then the weekend after, I ended up sleeping at his place after we were out, and apparently, seeing me in his shirt was a bit too much strain on his self-control. It may or may not have been a deliberate test on my part.

We sneaked off whenever we got the chance, because apparently we were both insatiable when it came to sex. Well, for me it was sex with Edward, not in general. I did briefly wonder why he hadn't hooked up with any of his other usual conquests, but at that point, I had my head so deeply in the sand, I wouldn't see anything if I'd tried.

Last night... when he said he loved me, I laughed it off as drunken ramblings. It still shook me, but I didn't allow myself to go there again, because he couldn't... he wouldn't. Until I found his journal and realized that he did. He loved me all this time I've wasted on trying to stop loving him, trying to take whatever he offered and never looking for more.

As I turned the corner, the tears were freely running down my face, but I didn't care anymore who saw me. What was I doing? I really thought my feelings for him were gone, convinced myself that he was the one complicating things. He offered me the one thing I've wanted since I fell in love with him and I ran.

When the thought registered with my brain, I turned on the spot, pulled the umbrella down and ran through the rain backtracking my steps. This wasn't over.


End file.
